7 Tips For Defusing Holiday Stress

know yourself

The first key to creating a peaceful holiday season is identifying those holiday traditions that you enjoy and those who do not. When you spend your precious time and energy on activities that you can not find rewarding, you are destined to become frustrated and cranky. So go ahead and be honest with yourself before the season even starts. Make a list of all possible holiday "obligations" that you can think of. Your list can include (but not limited to) the following:

- send greeting cards

- holiday baked good

- decorate the house

- shop for gifts

- wrap gifts

- make the holiday meal

- attend church services

- to go caroling

- a volunteer

- visit the extended family

- visit friends

- to spend time with his wife

- plan a family get-together

- to spend time with their children

- decorate the tree

- clean house

- Shop for Food

- to attend a concert / play

- home to watch TV

- Visit Santa

- look at the world

- Host Party

- attend the party

- a walk in nature

Now, here's the real trick - circle those items that you absolutely enjoy it and do not want to miss out on this holiday season. A cross is to those who hate you, despise and fear. Be honest here! If you do not love cooking, do not try to convince ourselves that this year you will turn into Donna Reed with a bunch of homemade gingerbread. And you can get very specific if necessary. You might love visiting with my parents, but can not stand seeing your critical Aunt Louise. That's right - to visit his parents one activity and seeing Aunt Louise another. This may be a good idea that everyone in your family make their lists - everyone has different ideas about what activities are fun and those that are poor

fits

Take a look at your list - which items you circle? Did you feel so strongly about some activities that you double-circled them or put a star on the sidelines? They are your true priorities - and no matter what you are doing this season, you must make time to fit them notice I said "find" time - the best way to ensure that you will not get around to doing something to say, "I'll do it when I find a few free minutes. "If you want to do, to schedule into your calendar. If walking around your neighborhood with your family singing carols and looking at holiday lights is a priority, sit down together and pick an evening and all block him off. It is as simple as that.

So at the beginning of the season, decide ahead of time that the activity on everyone's list are most important. Of course, you will have to be realistic about what you have time - May you only have enough room in your schedule for each person to choose three priorities instead of eight. And you might have to do a bit of TRADING with your loved ones - "I'll go for Christmas Eve services with you, and in return I'd like for you to go for nature walks on Saturday with me." Create harmony in every situation, compromising on - just do not allow yourself to bend so far to give up all its priorities for others. Everyone needs to feel that his or her needs are met.

release "should's"

So, the big question now is "how can I fit into all of these priorities when I got the other chores to do?" It may seem hard that it was time for caroling and roasting chestnuts and all good things when you have so many obligations. Those "I's " will absolutely kill you! So let me begin to wonder why you "must"? Have you evaluated on how much you accomplish during your vacation? Will you be judged harshly by your family, friends and associates if you skip on the cards or parties or baking this year? If they judge you harshly, I think youyou should ask yourself why would you want to have these kinds of people in your life first ! If you do not want to do this, simply should be enough - especially if you find activities that everyone in your household has gone from their list. Remember, the only things you "must" do in this life have to pay taxes and die - setting up a Christmas tree is not required

Let me share a story to illustrate. A few years ago, my husband and I had a really rough year and decided to skip the OUT on the traditional family Christmas get-together for the first time in our lives. We decided to go on a trip in itself - cross-country skiing in the middle of nowhere in Colorado - instead of spending a holiday with our families. And since we are going out of town so early in December, we can only put up minimal decorations and do not send any holiday cards. We are anxious and worried that we would offend someone with our crass insensitivity - but do you know what happened? All we talked (family included) said, "Man, I wish I had the courage to do it!" It turned out that 90% of people knew we had considered doing the same thing at one point in time, but was never able to walk away from the pressure "should's." Well, we had a wonderful time (one of our best Christmas ever), everyone loved hearing about our trip, and we now take a holiday vacation every other year.

to find someone to do it

But just because you do not want to do it, does not mean that it does not do at all. And, just because it needs to be done, does not mean you have to do (this is the result of a reverse!) Start by sitting down with your family and compare all the "wants" and "wants" for the season. It's time for a little negotiation. If you love baking and shopping for presents, but I really do not enjoy decorating the house, if your spouse or children are planning identified as a priority on their lists. At the very least, you might find someone who feels neutral about the job that you are completely despise! Holidays are great times to learn the art of negotiation!

and if you decide as a group they do not really want to do something, but nobody wants to do, consider hiring someone else to do it for you. If you like having the house decorated, but I hate setting up lights and garland, find a florist or interior designer who can take on that particular job. The same goes for many holiday "obligations". If you do not like cooking, have a happy holiday meal, or buy pre-cooked meal from the local deli or eat. If youyou like to give a good friends ,but do not have time to bake ,buy " homemade"cookies from a local bakery . Did housekeeper give your home a good cleaning before out-of-town guests arrive. In this age of convenience and service-oriented company, I guarantee you'll be able to find someone who is willing to do almost anything for a fee!

do not work

Unfortunately, many of us have turned the holiday into just another job to be resolved. It's like that the holidays have been transformed into increased "to-do list" - baking, shopping, wrapping, visiting - no wonder people holiday stress so bad! But it is not necessarily so - it's all about perspective. Do you remember when you were a kid and one of your parents introduced you to "clean up your room" game? Maybe you rushed around trying to see how fast you can get everything put away - or maybe danced and sang while standing. Cleaning is fun, until you learn to look at it like a job - something to be tolerated, something that "had" to be done, but there was no way a pleasant

Holiday tasks are in the same way. In our house, we turn every holiday "work" at a party. We have a house decorating party where we invite our friends to help, put on some Christmas music, and give everyone spiked eggnog. We have our holiday cards at the local Starbucks and spend a pleasant afternoon listening to music, drink hot cocoa, and chatting as we write our holiday greetings. We even make gift-wrapping fun (my husband and I compete to see who can get their gifts wrapped fastest! - just like when we were 6 years) The thing is, you can make anything FUN, if you create the right mood and the right frame of mind. So, think about how you can put a cheery spin on at least one "job" this year - you might be surprised what a good way of letting

LOWER

In a world where it seems to think that perfection can be achieved only if we work hard enough, we often feel tremendous pressure to excel during the holidays. Every year, we want to buy more gifts (or more expensive gifts) than last year, to host the most elaborate party this season, to the house look more than any other festive on the block. And in the process of trying to outdo everyone else in the world, we end up missing the true meaning of the holidays. We no longer have time to spend with our loved ones, because we are mad quest to create the perfect vacation.

Set your priorities

This year, why not be a little realistic about your home? Accept from the outset that things may not go perfectly - and the harder you try to mold their vacation just the way you planned, the less likely they are to cooperate. And quite frankly, sometimes less is more. Instead of attending various parties full of strangers every night, why not choose two or three meetings, where you will be surrounded by people you love? Instead of planning meals seven serving 75 people, and not a little potluck dinner with your 10 best friends mean more to you? Do you really need to buy dozens of gifts for their children, or they will be happy with just a few things that they really wanted? Maybe this year, it's time to focus on the quality of your experience rather than QUANTITY.